Week Three - Upset Alert

The blog has been en fuego...going 13-0 last week!  There looks to be a few good games this week, and some games where some highly rated teams get tested for the first time.  This is one of those weekends where we don't expect a lot of fireworks necessarily, but it could surprise with a lot of potential upsets on the horizon.  After all the picks, Joseph Michael rants about his favorite team and fans and something else special.

SEC Games - 9-0 straight up last week; 20-1 for the season (Thanks again HDN)

In the unbloggable SEC games of the weekend, #15 LSU over Mississippi St., Ole Miss over Vandy, #13 South Carolina over Furman, and Kentucky over Akron (play somebody already Wildcats).

#1 Alabama @ Duke - See "If I were a bettin man..." segment below.

Clemson @ #16 Auburn - See "If I were a bettin man..." segment below.

#12 Arkansas @ Georgia - The Hogs finally get a test this week to see if they can live up to the expectations.  The offense has struggled by their standards so far this year, but the defense has looked good against the two junior high teams they have played so far.  Georgia was blasted far worse than the score indicated in Columbia last week.  The Dogs are still without AJ Green, which is huge for them if you couldn't tell last week.  I can see this one going one of two ways:  a slim Hog win or a lopsided Georgia victory (with one eye already looking toward next week's game).  I sense that the Hogs may be a victim of reading and hearing how good they are in the media, thus, their lack of focus and consistency on the offensive side of the ball.  On the other hand, I will give the defense the benefit of the doubt at this point, and say they are improved.  It is hard to pick against Mark Richt at home with his back already against the wall after the loss last week, and his seat getting warmer.  All that being said, UGA's defense is still bad, the Hogs offense will wake up (relatively speaking - most teams would kill for the stats they have put up to this point) and the UGA offense will not be able to keep up.  Let the hype for next week's big game in Fayettenam begin.  Hogs 30-28

#10 Florida @ Tennessee - This has always been the unofficial start to the SEC season to me - a very special game that I always overanalyze because it means so much to the rest of the season.  I got a stat for ya...the Vols have not scored first in this game since 2001.  Simply amazing!  The Vols played with Oregon for 2.5 quarters last week and then took their ball and went home when the going got tough.  Game two of the season, and they are already throwing in the towel when they get down by 14 to the #5 team in the nation.  That's a damn shame.  The Gators were unimpressive regardless of what the score ended up being against USF.  We have another new QB making his first road start in a hostile environment here in John Brantley.  With their new QBs, both the Vols and Gators have combined to convert on 30% of their 3rd downs.  All in all, this is going to be an ugly game to watch with the defenses way ahead of the offenses.  Look for the Vols to give up a kickoff/punt/fumble/interception/ return(s) for a TD like they do in all big games lately.  Gators 24-12 in a snoozer.  The big suspense of the day will be if Verne and Gary can talk about the Gators without mentioning Tebow in every sentence.

Notable Games Around the Nation - 2-0 straight up last week; 6-1 for the season

#8 Nebraska @ Washington - The jury is still out on Nebraska; Washington has already played two decent programs at least.  I love me some Jake Locker, but this one man show is gonna need some help to take the Huskers defense down.  Huskers 23-17

#6 Texas @ Texas Tech - Garrett Gilbert playing in his first Big 12 road game at Lubbock - the site of one of the most exciting college football games ever two years ago when Michael Crabtree took down the Horns with seconds left.  It will be good to see Texas get challenged for the first time this year.  Texas Tech is still adjusting to Coach Tubs.  I just can't get the memory of them struggling against SMU a couple of weeks ago out of my head.  Horns 30-17

#9 Iowa @ Arizona - This should be the best game of the day, and if you want to catch all of it, take a nap during the day because it doesn't get started until 9:30 PM on ESPN.  Iowa comes in as one of the best in the 2nd best conference (some are already arguing 1st - yeah right!).  Arizona has destoyed Toledo in the Glass Bowl and The Citadel so far by a combined 93-8!  Zona's home record has gotten better each of the last five years as Mike Stoops has been able to recruit his own players to Tucson.  I remember the days of the Desert Swarm defense terrorizing some opponents at Arizona Stadium.  I think the night crowd will be rocking there and the confidence this team has gained over the last two weeks will keep the Wildcats rolling.  Arizona 28-27  

If I were a bettin' man... - 2-0 against the spread last week; 4-1 for the season

It is officially "pick on the ACC" week.  As I was looking through the lines and came up with my final picks for this segment, I realized every pick was against the ACC.  That is about right though because after all the ACC does suck.

#1 Alabama (-24) @ Duke - This is not a typo.  Alabama is playing AT Duke.  Don't ask me...the only thing I can think of is that Bama owes Duke because the Dukies have been tutoring the Tide's players and Saban thought it would be a nice gesture.  Bama is back to full speed even though they have already looked like they are full speed on the field.  Marcell Dareus and Mark Ingram will be returning this weekend even though it is unknown how much they will play.  Duke in the meantime scored 48 points last week...but gave up 54!  This one seems easy.  Bama's defense has not even given up a TD this year!  I would say Duke will score 14 at the most and when the game gets out of hand, Bama's second team offense has shown that it is just as good as the first team and surely Bama will score in the 40s.  Bama is rolling right now, and it is just amazing to me that Saban has them playing with this much consistency already after a national title year when complacency can set in.


Clemson @ #16 Auburn (-7) - Looking over Clemson's early nonconference schedule, I think a 4 year old who is obsessed with coloring made the schedule for them.  They have played the North Texas Mean Green, the Presbyterian College Blue Hose (huh?...come again), and now go to the Auburn Tigers.  As everyone in SEC country knows, playing at night in Auburn is tough...especially when College Gameday is there.  A couple of notes on Clemson who is overrated in my opinion every year anyway.  They were outgained at home by North Texas, and they are just a combined 4-19 converting on 3rd down against the two aforementioned  schools.  Do you think it will be a little harder to convert at Auburn at night?  I think so...I like Auburn big!

East Carolina (+19.5) @ Virginia Tech - This line makes absolutely no sense.  We all know what the Hokies have done, but the ECU Pirates have been playing very well flying under the radar.  East Carolina has beat Tulsa and Memphis so far this year; I have as many wins as the Hokies do this year.  The Pirates aren't afraid of Lane Stadium either; they won there just two years ago.  This line is so far out of whack, I wanna ask "what's the catch?"  Well, I have researched and there is no catch.  I assume Vegas thinks that Va Tech is gonna come out pissed off.  I think that should have happened last game.  Take the Pirates to cover.

And now...

And They Muffed It...by Joseph Michael -

Woo Pig Sooie. Go Hogs Go. Being the only Razorback mascot as we have come to love. Hell, everything Pat Summerall says on that stupid ass commercial with the Hog Deathtrap car driving around our great state.  In case you haven't noticed, I am a die hard Razorback fan; I was born and brought up that way.  My grandfather played for the Pigs, and I have no issue at all with bragging about that.  If you don't believe me, ask our waitress from Hooters Friday night - I think her name was Brooke.  If that's not enough, you can head over to The Paper Moon to our VIP section and ask Paris, India, or Mallory... My point being is, our fans are killing me and let me explain why.  I don't mind telling you I'm spoiled as you would call it, but I would call it lucky.  I have been forturnate to tailgate in the Grove, Baton Rouge, Alabama and pretty much everywhere in Florida, and there is no place like the War Memorial Golf Course.  It is for the most part the coolest place in the world with a few exceptions, and our fans are for the most part to blame.  I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion, and if you're offended, I really don't care because you're ruining something that could be great.  Everytime you're walking down Markham and someone who has had too much to drink says a cuss word, there is no need to call them out about it and start a verbal confrontation.  I have said my fair share of obscenities and everytime I see a kid I feel bad enough about it that I don't need some tough guy Hawg fan that brought his family to the game and probably drove them drunk in the first place to come over and ruin my Baggo game.  I'm the first to admit that I shouldn't be using inappropriate language in front of a 7 to 10 year old, but you can bet your ass, when I was 10 years old at the TCU game that we lost 54-26 and fans where cussing up a storm, stringing together cuss words I still can't make heads or tails of, that my daddy challenged not one of those people to a verbal confrontation.  Or in 1994 when Eddie Kennison returned a blocked XP back for a Safety and the drunk guy with a mullett and no shirt cussed the entire team by first and last name straight from the program, did my uncle raise his voice?  No, that's passion and that is College Football; moreover, it's Razorback Football Baby... Whether you like it or not, your kids are probably using that same language, and they probably heard it from you, not some asshole on the golf course having a good time tailgaiting. I'm not condoning the language, I'm just telling you to be prepared, its a part of the deal....

Now to the game, which pisses me off even worse.  These same men and women that cuss in front of their children at home and let them watch Family Guy (hilarious show by the way), then bring them to the game and look down their noses at people who let an F-bomb slip over a terrible beer pong shot are the same people starting the mother f-ing wave in the 3rd quarter of a 7-0 game against UL Monroe. Or the same people who yell put in Tyler Wilson after the whole offensive line decided not to block, and Mallett ate the sack and didn't throw it up for grabs like the great Pete Burks would've done. Not to mention the fact that putting Tyler Wilson in over Ryan Mallett is just downright ignorant in the 1st place, and that's taking nothing away from Tyler. Or even the starting of the wave when the Razorbacks have a 3rd down and hell, I don't know, our offense might need to hear the cadence.  Because I'll bet my ass its not the drunk guy who said son of a bitch in front of your kid that's doing any of that because he knows what's on the line and why they are playing football out there.

I said all of that to say this.  Razorback fans, I love you, I really do.  I have proven that in the past few months beyond the shadow of a doubt.  For those of you who know me, you know what I'm talking about, but the piss ignorance of some of you fans has got to go, and yes I'm talking to a majority of people who call into Drive Time Sports and ask ignorant ass questions too.  I'm not talking to everyone because I wouldn't change our fan base for the world; for all those idiots we have some of the craziest, most kindhearted, and loyal fans that I would put up against any other team in the country.  But if you're wondering if I'm talking about you after reading this, then yes, I probably am.  I'll hang up and listen....

3 Guys I Would Go to See Play With Rosie O'Donnell

This is a new segment where we'll take 3 people you may or may not have heard of and talk about how even if my High Five Partner had to be one of the grossest women on earth, you'd still make the roadtrip...

1) Bernard Pierce, Sophomore Running Back from Temple...
Was rated the#229 rated running back out of high school by our favorite football person Phil Steele.  Let's just say he's exceeded expectations already.  As a Freshman he led the Owls to a 9-4 record and to the Eagle Bank Bowl while rushing for 1,361 yards with 16 Touchdowns.  This year he is off to a slow start, but not played much and still has 132 yards and a touchdown in two games.

2) Colin Kaepernick, Senior Quarterback from Nevada...

This is a bad dude!  If you're an SEC Fan, think Matt Jones with a better arm and better decision making ability.  Through three years plus, he has thrown for 7,623 yards with a 59% completion rate, 65 touchdowns and only 16 interceptions. And oh yeah, he's closing in on 3,000 yards rushing with 43 rushing TDs.  I'd definitely hold hands with Rosie to watch this guy.

3) How can I name a 3rd and not just go team?  James Madison, you crazy son of a bitches.  Thank you for ending any and all talk of Boise St.'s insane dream of playing for a National Championship.  I could see this night ending well for her, no matter how the game played out....

Enjoy the weekend!